For All the Over-Thinkers!

Getting lost in a book is one of my favorite pastimes. My most treasured books are the ones I am able to sink into in a way not every book allows.

The book I am currently reading has me looking within myself. To a place streaming with thoughts, feelings, memories, hopes, wishes, dreams and fears.

I haven’t finished reading the perks of being a wallflower, so I can’t yet determine if it’s going to be one of my ‘all-time favorites’, but there are so many moments that happen in this book that have grabbed me and won’t let go. There is one particular segment near the beginning that literally took my breath away.

“Do you always think this much, Charlie?”

“Is that bad?” I just wanted someone to tell me the truth.

“Not necessarily. It’s just that sometimes people use thought to not participate in life”

I must have reread that passage a hundred times before finishing the rest of the chapter.

I can’t even fully explain why these words struck me as they did, but I do know that I have been guilty of using thought to not fully participate in life more than I would like to admit.

As I have stated in previous posts (like this one), and much like Charlie, the lovable main character in this book, I am an over-thinker. While I don’t feel that over-thinking is always a bad thing, for it helps keep us from blindly following others along, it does do some harm.

I have ruined perfectly fine situations with my over-bearing thoughts. I have missed out on participating in events that would have probably brought me much joy because of my ability to twist it into something negative. I stand on the side-lines far too often and observe, rather than participate. And even though I wholeheartedly agree with Garth Brooks that “life is not tried, it’s just merely survived, if your standing outside the fire”, I have such a hard time jumping in those flames!

I am lucky enough to have a husband who helps me push past my personal boundaries, and as well stops me from creating negative scenarios that don’t necessarily exist (a common problem for over-thinkers). Unfortunately no matter how hard he tries, sometimes my overactive brain prevails.

Although over-thinkers have many common traits, I believe at the core it all comes down to the need of being in control. The thought of not knowing the outcome of a situation scares the shit out of us so much we create a virtual ending before something even starts. It’s the ‘not knowing how it will all end’ that we can’t handle.

I tend to want that ending so much that I am constantly contemplating seeking out fortune tellers for the answer! Tell me I am not alone here?

Although easier said than done, trying to stay grounded is key when keeping my over-thinking in check. The brain is an extremely powerful machine, so I often find it helpful to take baby steps and look at the situation day by day, hour by hour, or even minute by minute (if need be), rather than as a whole entity.

The most important thing to remember is what’s going to happen will happen. We need to understand that no matter how hard we try we will not always have the ability to control the situation. We need to learn to accept that this is okay.

What will be, will be!

So tell me, are you an over-thinker? If so, what steps do you take to keep your thoughts under control?

Have you read the perks of being a wallflower? Can you relate to Charlie’s struggles?

For all of us over-thinkers out there I have compiled some great quotes that will hopefully remind us to think less and live more!